This time of year brings out the writer in everyone… Although some should put their pen down and leave writing to Hallmark. Well, all those annual Christmas letters inspired Hula Betty to throw down this year’s Christmas Letter.
Greetings from the trailer park that is Kitsap County.
Another Christmas quickly approaches the Last Great Road Trip clan. This will be our most recent Christmas yet!
Dad continues on his mid-life crisis he calls the Last Great Road Trip. Dad has made a big move; relocating from his office to the family room! The kids and Mom have been able to see his real job: publicizing his website for everyone and their Jewish grandmother to read.
Mom is still doing an adequate job at keeping things running smoothly. Between driving Boy everywhere his heart desires, to making macaroni and cheese for Hula Betty’s boyfriend (Dad still doesn’t acknowledge him), to putting up with the crazy shenanigans of Hula Betty’s friends, to listening to Hula Betty sing and dance, Mom still keeps the house looking good.
Boy is still having premature teenage rebellion. Boy doesn’t want an iPod and he doesn’t want an Xbox, Boy wants thousands of vinyl records from bands that no one’s ever heard of and all sound the same. You’ll most likely find Boy at a skate park or Value Village these days.
Last but certainly not in any way the least, Hula Betty has remained the golden child. Hula Betty now has a GPA of 3.9 and is starting to get interested in some colleges. Hula Betty’s favorite classes at school are AP Studio Art and Hip Hop 1, replacing PE and Lunch as favorites. Hula Betty’s AP Studio Art teacher said that Hula Betty is her favorite graphic designer and has the potential to make a lot of money doing that as a career, someone will have to keep Dad in gas money. Hip Hop 1 is a dance class after school where Hula Betty can release the inner black woman that is dying to be let out.
Aunt B. will be making her annually road trip up north, dodging bullets and junkies as she flees Granny’s holiday grip. And if there isn’t enough sarcasm here already, Aunt J. may join the exodus and land on our doorstep with a beer in hear hand and a sharp dig flying off her tongue.
This will be the best holiday season of this year and as the snow falls, Last Great Road Trip wishes you and your family a happy holiday and great new year.
One thought on “Who Dosen’t Love A Christmas Letter”
Aunt J. unfortunately is slowing losing her mind, trapped in her neighborhood with an as it turns out inappropriate-for-this-sudden-Yukon-territory-like-region automobile.
A good wrap-up of the year, Girl – although I should say that I have heard of some of the bands Boy listens to. And what’s this? Mom is only keeping the house looking “good”? Not spotless? Is she lagging behind? When you make a piece of toast, is she no longer wiping down the coffeemaker in case of errant crumbs? And didn’t you know that Dad is printing his own money these days? At least that’s what Aunt B told me. And lastly, after Hip Hop 1 obviously comes Hip Hop 2, but do you think you have what it takes to make it to AP Hip Hop?
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